Mary Elizabeth McNeil

With broken hearts, we announce the passing of Mary Elizabeth (MacNeil) McNeil, 70, of Glace Bay, peacefully at home, surrounded by family, on Saturday, Aug. 31, with the compassionate support of the Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD) program. 

In 1972, while working on the assembly line at General Instruments, she got up the nerve to unplug her machine so that the repair guy with wavy dark hair like steel wool would come fix it. Too shy to take a hint, he just plugged it back in and left. Then one day while he was eating his lunch alone on the grass, she sat next to him and asked if he wanted to go with her to a union dance the next weekend. They went on their first date 52 years ago this summer. 

Jimmy Woodpecker hitchhiked from his parents’ place in Reserve Mines to her parents’ place in Ashby, until he bought a car. With his new black Galaxy shined up, he took her for a drive and told her to look in the dash, where he had hidden the ring.

They were married in 1975, and she gave birth to John in 1977 and Jason (Jay) in 1982. Ma was determined to raise us in our own home, in a good neighbourhood. She learned about non-profit housing and called the Seton Foundation every day for months until we were approved for a new home. Da was an incredible handyman, and he built much of the house himself, which earned him a job as Seton’s maintenance worker, and eventually, maintenance supervisor.

Ma was the family accountant, with an ability to turn small amounts of money into entire grocery orders; the family chef, who could turn small amounts of food into delicious meals; the family taxi driver, who drove us to school and everywhere we ever needed to be. She also did all the cleaning, all the laundry, all the cooking, most of the worrying, and hundreds of other things mothers do every day that don’t get mentioned enough in obituaries.

Outside the home, she worked for many years in the catering department of the Horizon Achievement Centre in Sydney, serving hot turkey dinners at wedding receptions and award banquets on weekends. It was a job she loved until arthritis forced her to leave far too soon, and the centre’s clients always held a special place in her heart. Before that, she cleaned offices in Sydney and Glace Bay where she enjoyed working with her sisters-in-law, Donna, Mazie and Peggy.

During summers when we were growing up, Ma played softball in the Sydney Ladies Recreational Softball League. She was on a team with three of her sisters, and during the half-innings when they played the field, we would sit on the players’ bench with our grandmother, guarding purses and cigarette packages while Nana held the scorebook and loudly offered the umpires her glasses. 

Ma was predeceased by her husband of 35 years, James Tompkins McNeil, in 2010; parents, John Francis MacNeil and Theresa Anne (Farrell) MacNeil; sister Sadie (Carol) and brother-in-law Kenny MacKenzie. She is survived by her sons, John McNeil (Danielle), Jay MacDougall (Ricky); grandchildren James and Grace; siblings, Neil (Karen), Kathleen (Dougie), Joanne (George), Theresa, and Franklynn; and lifelong best friend Martha Gale.

She loved her in-laws, and was always grateful she married into the Woodpecker McNeils. She was predeceased by father- and mother-in-law Danny and Maggie (McWhirter) McNeil: brothers-in-law George, Duck, Robert, Francie, Tommy, Billy, Donnie, John Boutilier, and Sonny MacDonald: sisters-in-law Mazie, Peggy, Eva, Debbie, Theresa McNeil and Mary McNeil. She is survived by brothers-in-law John (Colleen), Mickey (Diane), Coody (Diane); and sisters-in-law Tina (Don), Donna, Mary Ruth (Danny), Toni (Dave), Coleen and Joan. 

Thank you to the many health-care professionals who treated Ma over the years, including: Dr. Carol Boutlier, her family doctor; Danny MacDonald, Tessa Forrest, Ellen Poirier and Dr. Kelly-Wiggins at the geriatric clinic; Dr. Elwood MacMullin and staff at the wound clinic; Dr. Seif Elgebeily at the pain clinic; Dr. MacLaughlin, Dr. Holmes and Dr. MacDonnell at the emergency room; orthopaedic specialists Dr. Dodd and Dr. Hamilton; all the VON nurses, but especially Stacy Blois; pharmacist Sarah Murphy Boutilier and the team at Shoppers Drug Mart in Glace Bay; Linda Murphy and Dr. MacCarvill at Palliative Care; Shona Conrad, Dr. Browne and Lynn Miller from the Medical Assistance in Dying program. A special thank you to Ma’s in-home care providers, Crystal, Jan, Dena, and her dear friend Betty.

Ma was a supporter of MAiD years before it existed. She had seen too many of her loved ones deprived of dignity in their final days, and when she told us she made this decision, it was clear she had found a peace she had not experienced in a long time. 

She looked forward to seeing all those she had lost over the years - her sister Sadie, her parents and grandparents, other relatives and friends - and especially Da, the love of her life. She believed with her whole heart that they would be reunited. Now, we grieve with our whole hearts, but we are grateful that she could leave laughing, on her own terms, in the house they built together, pulling one last plug to bring him to her again, wondering what he's got hidden in the dash for her this time. 

At her request, there will be no visitation.

Tanks, Ma bye. You were somethin’.